A pretty young woman looked back at me. "You don't even recognise yourself, for Pete's sake. Your own mother wouldn't recognise you."She was right. Th... woman in the mirror was exactly that. A woman. A bit wobbly on heels, perhaps, but a woman nonetheless."Look," she said. "We'll be in the car. I'll drive. Nobody's going to pass any remarks."Five minutes later I stood at the front door. My palms were sweaty, my heart was racing and my stomach churned with a combination of fear and excitement.. The air conditioner was on full so it covered up any noise that I may have made but it also stopped me from hearing anything that they were saying.The women took turns grabbing a partner and getting on the bed to have sex with one another. The other women cheered them on and watched intently. I could not take my eyes off Mom. She looked better than most of the other women. Except for a much younger redhead with a lot of freckles. I knew her. She was my English teacher, she was the minister’s. I didn't know any gay people, and where I grew up most people were homophobic, so I never had a chance to experiment. I'd tried getting with girls but something always felt empty about it, like I was just going through the motions.But every time I slept with someone I couldn't help but imagine what it was like to be on the bottom, or on my knees sucking cock. And every time I watched porn I found myself imagining myself in the place of the girl, focusing on nothing but cock. I tried to change. ‘Graham,’ was all that came out. I heard him sigh and he shifted, ‘I haven’t been called Graham in a very long time.’ ‘You’re and officer now,’ ‘Aye, a lieutenant.’ I felt his eyes on me. He had to know that I was all nerves. ‘And you, are even more of a lady than when I left ye.’ I stood up, now away from the door. I felt suddenly aware of myself, standing there, stuffed inside my fine gown. Perfectly pinned and painted to be beautiful. To be a flower. I was also aware that he saw straight.
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